Turnabout's
Fair Play
At the COMDEX computer expo a few
years ago, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the
auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles
to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General
Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like
Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your
car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the
lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die
on the freeway for no reason. You would then have to pull over to
the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart
it and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason
you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver
such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart,
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would develop a car
that was powered by the sun, was very reliable, five times as fast and
twice as easy to drive — but would only run on 5 percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature and
alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection
Fault" light.
7. The airbag system would ask, "Are
you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever,
your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a car manufacturer
introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over
again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as
the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start"
button to turn the engine off.
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