(Many of these can probably be attributed to the brilliant comedian Steven Wright)   

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?  
  
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?  
  
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?  
  
If a funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?  
  
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?  
  
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?  
  
Why is the word abbreviation so long?  
  
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?  
  
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?  
  
What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?  
  
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?  
  
Is it possible to be totally partial?  
  
What's another word for thesaurus?  
  
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?  
  
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?  
  
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream?  
  
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?  
  
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? 
  
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?  
  
Why do they call them grandstands when you sit? 
  
What was the best thing before sliced bread?  
  
How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot...and something cold, cold?  
  
What is the speed of dark?  
  
Why are there braille signs on drive-up ATMs?  
  
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of pantyhose, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?