Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?  
  
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?  
  
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 
  
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? 
  
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?  
  
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?  
  
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?  
  
Whose idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?  
  
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?  
    
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?  
  
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with the vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?  
  
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?  
  
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?  
  
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?  
  
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?  
  
  
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.  Think of your three best friends.  If they're okay, then it's you.