A compilation of my Usenet messages during the Gulf War.
  

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Great impromptu line from an embedded reporter:

"Army intelligence reports they actually drove a bomb-laden bus right into the side of a Bradley tank, on purpose.  The tank responded with a 120mm shell...on purpose."
 

Re:  The controversy about getting the real story out.  I'm generally of the opinion that no one, ever, knows the real story.  While it wasn't overt, that was one of the messages that ran throughout all of Clancy's novels: that one hand usually doesn't know what the other hand is doing.  And, given the nature of clandestine operations, even the Prez often doesn't have a clue what really happened.

Nor does anybody else in the building, for that matter, because all they're getting are third-hand reports, which still aren't what really happened.  And even the agent reporting to his bureau chief didn't tell him what really happened, just the parts that made him look good.  And, even though the agent is the only one (left) alive who knows he actually shot the bad guy in the back when he wasn't looking, rather than the heroic face-to-face confrontation he later recounted at the office, even he doesn't know exactly why he shot the guy, he was just following orders.  As in turns out, nobody knows the real story.

As far as the comment about the protesters having 'agendas', that's what makes them so entertaining.

One sign says, "War Is Bad!" and you think, "That's right!  Let's stop the bastards!" 

The next sign says, "It's The Greedy Oil Cartels!" and you think, "That's right!  Let's stop the bastards!" 

The next sign says, "Anti-War Protesters Are Bad For Our National Image!" and you think, "That's right!  Let's stop the bastards!"

The next sign says, "Save The Whales!" and you guiltily realize that you haven't really done your part this week to protect the environment.  You make a half-promise to switch from bottles to aluminum cans and wonder how it'll affect the taste of the beer.

The next sign says, "Stop Killing Innocent Women And Babies!" and you idly wonder if you should jot down 'bread' on your shopping list.

The next sign says, "I SAID... Stop Killing Innocent Women And Babies!!!" and you start thinking about something you read today on the Internet.  It's funny what people will collect.  You remember a collection of something you had as a kid, then realize you don't recall what happened to it.  Your mind drifts from this to that as the protesters march endlessly by.  A dog barks in the distance as the lowering sun kisses the earth in its timeless dance into infinity.

You stifle a yawn and reach for the remote.

<CLICK> 

"-in the distance as the B-52s take off.  Jane?" 

"Phil, can you tell our viewers where they're headed?" 

"Well, Jane, because only an elite few of us are allowed to know the exact details of these high-security operations, I'm afraid I can only tell you that they went 'that-a-way'." 

"Thanks, Phil.  As viewers can see from Fox News' exclusive satellite coverage, the B-52s appear to be headed toward Qom Kabar.  Major Roberts?"

"Well, Jane, according to Fox News' exclusive satellite coverage, if we lay the projected course...here, then it appears you're correct.  Qom Kabar, it is.  Most likely they're heading for the bunkers on the northeast edge of town, currently held by the Iraqi Third Brigade.  Using Fox News' exclusive Quik-Trak Course Computer, it looks like they should arrive right around...7:26, local time." 

"Thank you, Major.  In national news, protesters have-" 

<CLICK> 

"-ahk akbar dju!  Khati jukha B-52s jah Qom Kabar al 7:26!" 

Ah, I see Iraqi TV is back on the air.

Bugs posted a message with the header: 

— Review of the mid-season TV series replacement "Operation Iraqi Freedom" 

>I don't know. North Korea has the bidding up pretty high and is making plenty of Pu-239 to spread around. 

>Captain Høøk

That's my feeling.  Much like the evolution of the Clancy novels, you have to 'go to the next step' to keep the audience's attention.  Without any nukes lying around, Syria is just plain b-o-r-i-n-g.   

What worries me are the executive producers of the show.  They're the ones really pulling the purse strings, and they might opt to head for Syria next.  Not only because the relocation costs would be minimal, but these guys tend to look at TV over the long run, and they might figure they can squeeze Syria in before the public becomes complacent and demands that 'next step' for their entertainment dollar. 

The one apology I have to make, as a Californian, is how inconvenient the start time of the daily broadcast must be for you folks back East.  Being in the same time zone as Hollywood, I have to admit it works out just perfectly.  Get up around nine, yawn and stretch, make some coffee, turn on the TV just as the bombs begin to fall.  You just couldn't ask for a more tranquil way to start the day.

As far as Bugs' comment about the 'James Bond angle', I agree.  There's just something about a British accent that has 'spy' written all over it.  It's the hallmark of credibility in any international show that involves intrigue at the highest level.  As far as his criticism of the General's acting credentials, though, I'm not so sure they didn't do this on purpose.  Sometimes using an actor who's a little rough around the edges adds that certain 'air of authenticity' to a well-done docu-drama.

If I had a complaint, it might be about the casting of the Prez guy.  Kinda wimpy looking, isn't he?  I was picturing Arnie, although I'm forced to admit we haven't had a lot of presidents with Austrian accents over the years.  Ted Danson might have pulled it off.  Rugged, handsome, broad shoulders; the All-American type.  On the other hand, Hollywood might be going with the 'little guy in the corner' approach.  There'll be five 'heavies' in the spotlight, but the true mastermind is the mousy little guy in the corner.

We'll just have to wait and see!  That's what good TV is all about.

>You mean the ones with the short pudgy bald guy cast as dark genius/martial arts expert/safe cracker?

No, more like the soft, cowering type; walks kind of hunched over as if from massive insecurities, fades into the background like wallpaper.  As the scene ends, the camera closes in on the small piece of paper on the desk: the order to nuke Paris and make it look like a terrorist act.  Down at the very bottom of the note we see his scrawled initials.

Then we know.

<CLICK>

"WELL, HOWDY, FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS! C'MON DOWN TO-" 

<CLICK> 

"-as the B-1s take off.  Back to you, Karen." 

"Thank you for the report, Bill.  Major Jenson, can you-"

<CLICK> 

"-right about....here.  Using Fox News' exclusive Quik-Trak-"

<CLICK>

"-meanwhile, protesters in northern Iceland have-" 

<CLICK>

"-ahk!  Jakh abkar B-1s ja al Kom Hajhom al 9:16!" 

<CLICK> 

<-HERE AT AL GROVER'S CHEVROLET!  C'MON DOW-"

<CLICK>

Pardon the interruption.  Didn't want to miss anything important.

>but you're right, the current actor is coming off a little mousy these days. 

I suppose this was a tough call for the casting department.  They had to have an imposing SecDef, since he's the mouthpiece for the Organization, but they knew there'd be the occasion when he and the Prez were standing next to each other, and having the Prez stand on a box would have been just so tacky.  From behind the desk he looks okay, though.  And it's easier to disguise a pillow than a box.

Since we both admit that he doesn't quite fit the Arnie mold, I'm wondering if he got the role from one of those 'contractual obligation' stories you read so much about in the Hollywood papers.  Maybe 'somebody' owed 'somebody' a favor?  I suppose we'll never know the real story.

<CLICK> 

"...as the F-16s take off.  Back to you, Jane." 

"Thank you, Steve.  Major Roberts, according to Fox News' exclusive satellite coverage, what do you make of the current activities of the Hammurabi forces?" 

"Well, Jane, according to Fox News' exclusive satellite coverage, it looks like three full Iraqi divisions are heading southwest along...this corridor, with one division heading south-southeast to act as a flanking maneuver as they catch the Coalition forces by surprise." 

"Thank you, Major.  Can you tell us wha-" 

BZZHZHZHSZHTT!!  

(faulty relay at central TV linking station momentarily shorts out, connecting us with live feed from Pentagon War Room) 

"Tommy!  Quick!  Fox News!" 

BZZHZHZHSZHTT!!  

"-whether or not they can react in time is up to Army Central Command.  Jane?"

"Thank you, Major.  In global news, protesters in the Canary Islands have-" 

<CLICK>

"-AVE THE WHALES!  SAVE THE WHALES!  SAVE THE WHA-" 

<CLICK>

BZZHZHZHSZHTT!! 

"Tommy!  Quick!  Back to MSNBC!" 

BZZHZHZHSZHTT!! 

"-which taps into the GPS locator in every Coalition vehicle.  We can see how they're skirting to the left of the flanking Iraqi column, about ready to turn the battle around."

"Fascinating stuff, Major.  Colonel, what are the ramifications from what the Major has just told us? 

"Well, Karen, it's clear to me the Coalition forces have-" 

<CLICK> 

"-ahk kakbar!  Ai jhabar al left flank!" 

<CLICK> 

"I don't know, Melissa.  It sure strikes me that our open media is giving a lot away." 

"Oh, nonsense, Senator!  The people have a right to know!" 

<CLICK> 

"as the Hammurabi forces have now swung westward in an effort to turn the tide on the allied counteradvance-" 

BZZHZHZHSZHTT!! 

"Tommy!  Quick!  Back to Fox News!" 

BZZHZHZHSZHTT!! 

"-as they move into position to attack the Coalition forces.  Jane?" 

"Thank you, Major.  In Washington, the Save The Spotted Owl Society is protest-"