50 F:  New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.  People in New England plant gardens. 

40 F:  Italian & English cars won't start.  People in New England drive with the windows down. 

32 F:  Distilled water freezes.  The water at Moosehead Lake in Maine starts getting cooler. 

20 F:  Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.  People in New England throw on a flannel shirt, buttons open. 

15 F:  New York City landlords finally turn up the heat.  People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold. 

0 F:  All the people in Miami die.  New Englanders close the windows. 

10 below zero:  Californians escape en masse to Mexico.  Girl Scouts in New England sell cookies door to door. 

25 below zero:  Las Vegas disintegrates.  People in New England rummage around the attic to find some winter coats. 

40 below zero:  Washington DC runs out of hot air.  People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors. 

100 below zero:  Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.  Some New Englanders are frustrated when they can't start their "kahs". 

460 below zero:  All atomic motion stops.  People in New England start saying . . . "Cold 'nuff for ya?" 

500 below zero:  Hell freezes over.  Red Sox win World Series.* 
  

*I bet the Sox finally winning the Series ruined a LOT of good punchlines. :)