Hello, fellow Shrekkers!

You know the old expression, "Don't judge a book movie by its cover trailer"?  This movie was a real reminder for me of just how true that can be.  For some reason, the sample clip I saw just didn't do it for me.  I just knew that it wasn't the kind of movie I'd like to watch. 

I could just tell.

Then, after a couple of billion people mentioned how good it was, I figured I'd better jump on the bandwagon.  I've now seen it over five times, which qualifies me as a True Shrekker.

Knowing that there must be other True Shrekkers out there, I've composed a fun little Trivia Quiz for you, just to make sure you really are who you claim to be.

Helpful chap, aren't I?

First, a couple of movie notes, just to get us in the mood.
 

Other Movie References

Certainly "That'll do, Donkey, that'll do" was a direct reference to "Babe", the reference to "The Matrix" during the fight scene was pretty obvious, as was the finger-snapping "West Side Story" tribute while Robin's men were singing.  And did you notice anything 'familiar' when they first showed the inside of Duloc, with the big bullhorn and the little striped carriages?  I'd have to see an episode of "The Prisoner" again to know for sure.

Also, that line of Shrek's, "It's quiet. Too quiet." was hauntingly familiar.

Goofs

I spotted most of the ones on the IMDb, and a few they didn't.  Just tiny things, though.  All in all, the movie had outstanding 'continuity', as we say in the professional goofs biz.

More than just merely finding goofs, though, I like debunking goofs that are claimed on the IMDb.  In this case, I found three:

• It's claimed on the IMDb that Shrek and Donkey couldn't have made fun about Lord Farquaad's height because they only saw him up on the balcony, where he was standing (unseen) on the box.  Bzzt!  Since the location changes at that point, we can't assume he didn't give them instructions in person, and Donkey could have known about his short stature from a previous visit, since he knew where Duloc was.

   
• It's claimed on the IMDb that Donkey couldn't have known Shrek was a "lean, green, fightin' machine" because he was colorblind.  Bzzt!  Except in rare cases, colorblindness only affects blues and reds, not greens.  I presume this is bolstered by their using "blue flowers with red thorns" later on to confuse Donkey.

   
• It's claimed on the IMDb that the chain that Shrek uses to climb up Dragon on the way to Duloc "disappears in the next scene".  Bzzt!  The "next scene" is minutes later, when they're already way up in the clouds.  Shrek could have easily unhooked the chain during the climb.  I actually get double points for this one because it's mentioned TWICE on the IMDb goofs list, one right after the other. 

Bzzt, IMDb.

Where Do These Things Come From?

Interestingly, they used the phrase "really-really" FOUR times in the movie. It was like its own little sub-plot.  First, Donkey used it after Shrek scared off the soldiers ("You was really-really somethin' back there."), then he used it a few minutes later when he and Shrek were talking by the stream.

Then Shrek turns around and uses it twice.  Once with Donkey on the bridge, and when he tells Princess Fiona of his true love, just before true love's first kiss.

Cute Britishism

"You're goin' the right way for a smacked bottom!"

Good Question

Why did this thing win the Academy Awards' "Best Animated Feature Film" award?

Assuming Hollywood politics wasn't involved and they actually based it on the film's merit (okay, I know it's a stretch), there's no doubt in my mind that there were two scenes that especially swayed them.  They certainly 'swayed' me.

• One was the swaying of the bridge into the castle.  There were a couple of brief shots where the 'camera' was swaying right along with the bridge that were really outstanding.  It must have been breathtaking in the theater.

   
• But, most of all, the chase scene, right after Shrek says, "I'll take care of the dragon!".  The thrilling fanfare of trumpets, the way his yell drops down the scale in perfect synchronization with the music, the perfect slo-mo as they're racing toward the bridge, the way they speed back up to real-time as the flames lick at their heels, the flames, themselves, licking across the bridge, the three clutching onto the bridge as it falls, that cool upside-down shot of the dragon, then the music, always in sync, 'snapping' just as the chain snaps taught and the day is saved.

   
Kids, if you ever want to learn how to write a music score and choreograph a chase scene, I present this as Lesson One.

Anyway, it's my guess that those were the two scenes that stayed with the Academy members afterward, and certainly the transformation scene at the end of the movie was memorable.

That's A-n-t-h-r-o-p-o-m-o-r-p-h-i-c For Those Of You Spelling At Home

When it comes to applying human emotions to animals, you could watch the entire movie watching nothing but Donkey's ears.  They were really-really well done, sometimes rising and falling on literally a word-by-word basis.  Of the umpteen trillion people who worked on this thing over three and a half years, I wouldn't be surprised to hear they had one person working specifically on Donkey's ears, coordinating them with the emotion of the moment.

Brilliance Is Its Own Reward

Quick, you're writing the movie's screenplay and you want Princess Fiona to feed Shrek and Donkey some hot breakfast food (like some delicious fried eggs) to 'make friends' when they first wake up.

Question:  How do you kill off Mama Bird to get the eggs?

Remember, children are watching.

Answer?  You have the princess, for the very first time, actually become silly-looking (when she's screaming out that high note), to start the kids laughing, then, in what I consider 'true brilliance', use that sizzling sound of the bird's legs as they sit there bodyless on the branch.  For some reason, the sound just makes the scene, and no harm done to the kiddies. Nobody got killed — Mama Bird just 'popped'.  Masterfully done.

The Truth Is Revealed At Last

Ask yourself:  Didn't this movie seem just a little bit too real at times?  I finally figured out how they did it.  They used real people and cameras to do the filming, then later fed it through some sort of "cartoon filter" to give it that animated look.  No wonder this fraud won the Academy Award!  They thought they could get away with it, but ol' "Doc Eagle-Eyes" spotted a number of telltale signs that showed they were actually using real cameras:

1. The first clue was when Donkey was running away from the soldiers at the beginning of the movie, then suddenly veered off to the right, too fast for the cameraman to follow.  We had to catch up with him later in the next scene as Camera 2 took over.  Obviously, if this were a real animation, we could have kept up with him as he dashed to the right since the animator could have simply slowed down the animation machine long enough to get everything drawn in.

2. There was a brief 'sun ring' on the camera lens as Donkey is looking up at Shrek and saying, "Really tall?".  If you'll notice, a fisheye lens was used because the stream was too close to allow the cameraman to step back far enough to get all of Shrek (or whatever fat guy they were using as a stand-in) in the picture without getting his shoes wet.  As an amateur photographer, myself, I can assure you that fisheye lenses are very susceptible to sun rings, and I wouldn't want to get my shoes wet, either, just for one shot of some sweaty fat guy.

3. A very subtle indication that real cameras were being used was when Shrek body-slams the knight to the mat.  Watch as the camera shakes briefly, no matter what precautions they took to steady it.  It also shakes slightly when Dragon lands at Duloc.

4. And the real giveaway is when the gang hams it up for the camera during the song at the end.  I gather they didn't think their clowning around would make the final cut, but it just goes to show how the presumptuousness of some people can ruin it for everybody.  Up to this point, I was only guessing that the entire "animation" was a clever fake.  The actors hamming it up for the camera only clinched it for me, as I'm sure it did for you.

All of which makes us wonder about "Toy Story" and "A Bug's Life", doesn't it? 

Didn't they also seem just a little bit too real?

Transitions

The beginning and end of each scene during the song "Hallelujah":

Shrek walks away to the left, Donkey walks to the right...  
And then looks back to Shrek, as Shrek looks in the mirror...  
As Fiona looks in the mirror, then looks out the window...  
As Shrek looks out the window, then throws the flower in the fire...  
The fire which burns next to Fiona, as she looks in the mirror...  
As Farquaad looks in the mirror, and then becomes...  
Farquaad on the wedding cake, as Fiona looks at the faceless guard...  
Whose face becomes Shrek's, as he stares into the fire...  
As Donkey and a fire-y dragon meet again...  
As Shrek sits at the table, which becomes Fiona's table...  
As she covers her face with her hands,  
As he covers his face with his, 

and the song ends.

Most Memorable Moment

My nomination would be during the above song, when Donkey and Dragon get back together. If "Love can conquer all" is the theme of the movie, this reinforced it quite nicely.

And now...

(drum roll)

What you've all been waiting for...

(fanfare of trumpets, spotlight hits the center of the ring)

Presenting:  Dr. Mercury's Not-Even-Close-To-Official All-Shrek Trivia Quiz!

Now, I know you're thinking these will be tough, sneaky questions, like "What color hat was the elf in the 42nd row wearing?", but this isn't so!  As a 'show of faith', I'll start it off with some real easy ones and we'll work from there.  I think by the end you'll agree that these were all "fair" questions that any True Shrekker would know.

The answers are below, but the big challenge would be watching the movie again and trying to figure out the answers without peeking, now that you know what to look for.

Ready?  Let's begin!

#1: Where was the big pile of gold, rubies and emeralds?

#2: What happened to Gingerbread Man's leg? 

#3: How did Mama Bear die?

#4: What chapter was the cookbook opened to?

#5: What was the first scene in which Dragon was sporting her lipstick and long eyelashes?

#6: It's obvious that, even in fairy tales, donkeys don't usually talk.  What other attribute not normally associated with such animals did Donkey possess?

#7: What was odd about Donkey's proportions?

#8: In how many scenes did Donkey hit the ground with an "Oof!"?

#9: How many innocent people did Donkey kill?

#10: How many times did the unicorn make an appearance?

Bonus Point: What was odd about this?

#11: What insulting remarks did Shrek make about two of the three princesses?

#12: What's wrong with that question?

#13: What's the legal standing of Donkey's claim?

#14: How many times did Princess Fiona laugh?

#15: Besides kicking the snot out of Robin Hood's men, what other remarkable feat of supreme physical prowess did Princess Fiona exhibit?

#16: Which fairy tale creature was gay?

#17: Do they have electricity in Duloc?

#18: What color hat was the elf in the 42nd row wearing?

#19: How many animals were slaughtered in the making of this film?

And finally, worth five big points...

#20: What are the Rules of Duloc?

---

 
Pencils down!

Well, that was fairly easy.  As you saw, none of them were cheating-type questions, just good, clean observational fun.  Let's see how you did!

#1: Where was the big pile of gold, rubies and emeralds?

In the dragon's lair, where it always is.  Gee, talk about easy — you didn't even have to see the movie to get this one!

#2: What happened to Gingerbread Man's leg?

Lord Farquaad crushed it in his fist during the interrogation.  In keeping with the excellence of the movie, the "instruments of torture" in the background were an egg beater, a potato masher and a spatula, all made from the same rough cast iron as traditional instruments of torture.

#3: How did Mama Bear die?

Skinned alive and placed at the foot of Lord Farquaad's bed.  You can see her hide as he asks Magic Mirror to show him Princess Fiona again.  Earlier, you can see Baby Bear still crying from his recent loss when the animals assemble in the swamp.  When Shrek asks if anyone knows where "this Farquaad guy" lives, Baby Bear innocently tries to raise his hand, only to be shushed by the recently-widowed, now-wiser, Papa Bear.

#4: What chapter was the cookbook opened to?

In the dragon's castle, there's a huge, dragon-sized cookbook in the background opened to "Knightly Treats". On the opposing page is a drawing of a knight divided up like on a butcher's chart, with "Choice Cuts" below it.

#5: What was the first scene in which Dragon was sporting her lipstick and long eyelashes?

When Magic Mirror was displaying the three bridal prospects to Farquaad.  Sure, it was quick, but any True Shrekker would have stopped the movie, just to look at yet another picture of what has to be the prettiest dragon this side of the Central Galaxy.  It's a great shot, too.  It's still 'her', but looking as fierce as a dragon could possibly look.  Very well done.

#6: It's obvious that, even in fairy tales, donkeys don't usually talk.  What other attribute not normally associated with such animals did Donkey possess?

He could also read.  He read Shrek's two signs and the signs on the information booth.

#7: What was odd about Donkey's proportions?

Nothing.  He was based precisely on a real-life miniature donkey. 

Sorry.  Trick question.

#8: In how many scenes did Donkey hit the ground with an "Oof!"?

Every one?  It got to be like an "actor's trademark" after a while, including from such sources as:

- fairy dust  
- a log  
- Shrek  
- a turnstile  
- Dragon  
- a steep hillside  
- Shrek  
- the sight of blood  
- a tree  
- Shrek  
- Shrek again  

Ah, the great pratfall artists of cinematic history!  Red Skelton.  Jerry Lewis.  Chevy Chase.

Donkey.

#9: How many innocent people did Donkey kill?

I counted six, given that the huge beer keg must have weighed a couple of tons.  Seven, if you count the knight he clobbered with his rear hooves at full force from a foot away.  I'm only attributing six major spinal fractures and a complete liquefaction of the brain to that one, though, not an actual death.

#10: How many times did the unicorn make an appearance?

Twice.  One at the very beginning being loaded onto a cart, once at the gathering in the swamp. 

Bonus Point: What was odd about this?

Sorry, mythology and fairy tales just don't mix.

#11: What insulting remarks did Shrek make about two of the three princesses?

He called Snow White a "dead broad" and Princess Fiona, by implication, a "fire-breathing, pain-in-the-neck".

#12: What's wrong with that question?

There weren't three princesses.  Magic Mirror was wrong.  Neither Cinderella nor Snow White became princesses until after they were married.

Bzzt, Magic Mirror.

#13: What's the legal standing of Donkey's claim?

At the precise moment Shrek and Donkey cross the castle's threshold, Donkey says, "So, where is this fire-breathing, pain-in-the-neck, anyway?", referring to the dragon.  To which Shrek responds,

"Inside, waiting for us to rescue her."

In his derision, he is clearly indicating Princess Fiona by the use of the phrase "rescue her".  As such, he is assenting to this oral (and legally binding) contract with Donkey that "us" shall "rescue her".

So later, when Donkey claims, "I helped rescue the Princess, I did half the work, I get half the booty," this seems like a legally-binding claim.

However...

Magic Mirror's original offer was null and void.  Farquaad could only become king by marrying a princess, of which the majority of prospects did not qualify.  This fraudulent sham on Magic Mirror's part would have nullified the original contract, and Donkey's subsequent claim along with it.

#14: How many times did Princess Fiona laugh?

Once.  Kind of.  She giggled slightly when she called Donkey a "steed".  The rest of the time she just barked out orders left and right.  Real marriage material, huh, guys?

#15: Besides kicking the snot out of Robin Hood's men, what other remarkable feat of supreme physical prowess did Princess Fiona exhibit?

She leapt up onto the back of Lord Farquaad's horse unaided without so much as flexing a muscle.  Hey, you try it.

#16: Which fairy tale creature was gay?

Big Bad Wolf.  Still dressed in his chic evening smock, he's seen clutching one of the knights at the party in a most familiar way.

#17: Do they have electricity in Duloc?

We have to presume so.  After Princess Fiona pummeled Robin Hood's men, Shrek said, "Hold the phone!"  If telephones exist, surely the "perfect" Duloc would have them.  Ergo, electricity.

#18: What color hat was the elf in the 42nd row wearing?

Looked like red to me, but the lighting was bad.

#19: How many animals were slaughtered in the making of this film?

I counted twelve.  In order; a fish, a slug, a bear, four birds (three of them quite young), three rats, a toad and a snake. Throw in a half dozen crushed knights and you're right up there with "Rambo: First Blood" in the Kill Count. 

And finally, worth five big points...

#20: What are the Rules of Duloc?

1. Don't make waves  
2. Stay in line  
3. Keep off the grass  
4. Shine your shoes  
5. Wipe your...face  
 

Well, how'd ya do?  I'm so confident that you got "all", or "almost all", that I won't even bother writing up a score sheet. Suffice to say that any True Shrekker knows his movie!
 

However, for you few, sad, unfortunates who actually missed more than one or two of the questions... take heart!  Following are three Official Bonus Point Questions, questions deemed too tough for the real quiz (and worth two points each!) in which you may redeem yourself.  Furthermore, because the famed Dr. Mercury is known far and wide for his kind benevolence, you are actually allowed to watch the movie again before attempting to answer the three Bonus Point Questions, they're that tough.

Bonus Point Question #1:  Besides Big Bad Wolf and the knight, which other fairy tale creature was gay?

Bonus Point Question #2:  What four prior indications did we have that Princess Fiona was half ogre? 

Bonus Point Question #3:  Okay, so unicorns are from mythology and don't belong in fairy tales.  So, why was there a unicorn in this one?

Pencils down! 

Bonus Point Question #1:  Besides Big Bad Wolf and the knight, which other fairy tale creature was gay?

The little wizard-looking guy in the green pointy hat.  When Shrek is asking for someone to go with him to Duloc, he and Big Bad Wolf try to volunteer each other, fully aware of the dangers involved.  After all, look at what happened to Mama Bear.  To wish such harm upon each other we can only conclude that they are jealous ex-lovers who are both vying for the attentions of yet another member (as it were) of the cast.

Bonus Point Question #2:  What four prior indications did we have that Princess Fiona was half ogre?

She did four things that no self-respecting princess would ever do.  For starters, that babe could belch with the best of 'em!  And what did they have for dinner?  Right!  And not many princesses go around eating weed rats, I think you'll agree.  And remember her wiping her mouth on her sleeve while eating?  Again, not very princess-like, was it?

And the fourth thing?  Remember when the three of them were walking along and the song was playing and she made Shrek that "insect lollipop" out of the spider web?  Okay, what did she do immediately after she gave it to him?  Think, man, think!

She licked her fingers.

Yuck!  And you don't see a lot of dainty princesses running around licking spider webs off their fingers, now, do you?  Of course not.  Nor eating weed rats or using their sleeves as napkins or belching loudly.  Vital clues, all!

Bonus Point Question #3:  Okay, so unicorns are from mythology and don't belong in fairy tales.  So, why was there a unicorn in this one?

You can just bet that one of the girls on the design staff just adores unicorns and thinks they're the most wonderful and noble and beautiful of all creatures to have ever walked the earth and deep in her heart secretly believes that somewhere out there in this big, wide, wonderful world they still exist... 

...and the other designers just looked at each other, rolled their eyes... and that's why there's a unicorn in the movie.